#maybe it’ll help y’all ♥️
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starrylevi · 1 year ago
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Little drabble about you feeling all the feelings and Levi tries to help out 💫
You’ve always been made to feel like you’re too much. Others say you’re “too sensitive” or you “care too much”. They’ve made it such a point that now you actively try not to say or show too much. You keep your feelings to yourself, no matter how lonely or painful it is. Being by yourself forces you to learn how to self soothe. That way, you don’t need to share your feelings. So when Levi asks you what’s wrong you don’t quite know what to say…or how to say it.
You turn to face him in bed. “It’s a lot…” You sigh.
Levi rolls his eyes playfully. “Try me.”
You pause, looking up to the ceiling as if it’ll give you answers. “Have you ever felt too big for your body?”
“Hm. What do you mean?”
“Like, everything that’s inside you is too much and you feel like you’re going to explode?”
“Like when you’re angry?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Kind of…but it’s different.”
“How so?”
“Well…” You try to think of a way to explain it in a way he’ll understand. Words fail you. “I’m not good at this.” You say with a light chuckle.
Levi’s eyes soften at your words. He wants you to feel comfortable expressing yourself. “Me either.” He reaches around you and pulls you close to him, so close that both of your noses are touching. You can’t help but let out a giggle. “Come on, keep going.” He gives you an encouraging squeeze on your hip.
“Hm….it’s like what you said about anger but…it’s like you have a cup of water, right?”
“Mhm…”
“And let’s say it’s filled halfway…but water keeps being poured into it, until it overflows.”
“Right.”
“There’s too much water in my glass….I’m spilling, slowly but surely…and I don’t know how to stop it…but I need all of the water to get out.”
“So tip yourself over.” Levi jokes.
You chuckle. “But that’s exactly the issue…I’m scared to tip myself over.”
“Why?”
You sigh. “It would be too much…I would be too much.”
“For who?” Levi’s eyebrows furrow.
You shrug. “For you.”
“Y/N…You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“But it’s already been decided.”
“By who, you?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“No offense but…you make terrible decisions.”
You let out a gasp before you start to laugh. “That’s rude.”
“It’s the truth.” He smirks before he places a gentle kiss on your lips. “Listen,” His smile falls and his expression turns serious. “I don’t know who or what made you think you’re too much but you’re not. Your feelings are not ‘too big’ or whatever the fuck people like to say…and if they tell you that, just point them out to me.”
You shake your head, chuckling. “Levi…”
“What? I’m being completely serious.”
“I know, that’s what makes it so funny. My little guard dog.” You nuzzle his nose with yours affectionately before placing your lips against his.
“You tell anyone else you call me that and I’ll end you.” He says in between kisses.
“Ooo, is that a threat?” You pull back a little and
grin widely at him.
“It’s a promise.” He mutters as his lips find yours again.
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juliasturnz · 2 months ago
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“A simple call”
M.S x y/n
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🜸 - i forgot to thank y’all but oh my god? 100 followers is so muchhh! I’m so grateful for every single one of you🤍
★ - summary:
you’re having the depression loop again, all you wanna do is lay in bed and cry. You need to do it again. You just need to, luckily someone caught you just in the right time
༆ - Warnings!:
Sh moment! (Doing it!!!) mention of sh (and sh on its own), crying, depression, comfort talk (does that exist? 😭), use of y/n!!
✫彡 writers note:
This is slightly personal, I hope y’all enjoy it!
Im so sorry for not posting! School has started and I really need to focus. Trying my best to post as much as possible. ♥️
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Your laying down in your messy bed, not normal messy with like blankets everywhere, or some clothing here and there. But your bed was dirty, dust everywhere, makeup brushes, old food. Whatever disgusting thing you could think of. But did you notice at all? No.
You have been in a suffocating loop, for what you feel like months. Everything has been more exhausting than ever, you don’t even remember what the last time you showered was. Or even brushed your hair, since you didn’t knew where your brush even is.
And most of all, you had a boyfriend you haven’t been texting at all. Reaching out to your phone was already to much to bare.
You were not new in a relationship with Matt. But it wasn’t like you have been ages with him, but you felt like all you could do is sink in your bed. And sometimes, maybe even barely get some food.
You really wanted Matt to know what was going on and help you, but you could find such a big comfort in your sad and dark feelings. You always felt like you deserved it. All of it.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Something felt different this morning, a urge. no you have done this to much, you promised Matt to stop. this isn’t healthy. But it’ll make the pain go away, does it tho? Nobody cares. Do it.. do it.. do it.. do it.. do it..
your mind couldn’t stop racing, you felt yourself shaking, not scared. Adrenaline, am I gonna do it?
You find yourself zoning out, your mind still racing, but the urge is way to big. You need to stop your mind. You have to. Otherwise is isnt gonna stop right?
Your cold feet hitting the messy and covered floor, still thinking about every move you make. You’ve decided, you open that drawer. The drawer, your hand is shaking, but not only from adrenaline, definitely more emotions. But it’s calling your name. The comfort you didn’t knew you needed all these suffocating months, all these horrible days. This was the way.
You pick out the perfectly sharp blade, your fingers trailing the blade slightly, its perfect.
you are lumber to the cold bathroom that you remember oh so well, you aren’t gonna look in the mirror. Maybe that will change your mind, that’s not what you wanted. You didn’t wanna see your messy and ugly face either, so you just sat against the counter.
you lean your head against the cold counter top, you look at the ceiling. Still your mind racing, still the same thoughts. Everything was so quiet. Except for your mind
Frustration is coming up to you, deeply. Why are you doing this? This is the way. You’re sure. This is it right? You linger your eyes around the already healed scars, you needed more.
Finally it hit the skin, finally the voices were gone, finally you felt relieve.
Suddenly the bathroom door swings open, “oh no my baby shit.” Matt drops his stuff en runs to you to the bathroom. You are still in complete disbelief, how didn’t you hear him? This couldn’t be true, this isn’t happening.
“Oh my baby, my baby no no no no.” Matt is in full panic mode, he never had experienced you on the bathroom floor, not like this.
“H-here let me c-clean you up alright? Y- you’re gonna be okay.” His voice has never been this shaky, he’s stumbling over shampoo bottles, old towels and dirty laundry. And you haven’t been in this much disbelief. Ever.
You couldn’t say a word, not a single one. For the next 20 minutes Matt has been holding you in his arms. Warm in your fresh made bed, what he made for you. With the new stuffed animal he was going to surprise you with.
He helped you with everything, helping you get up, rinsing the mess, helping you shower. Everything you didn’t knew you needed, all you needed was him.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Your laying down, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t felt relieve, not a little bit. All you felt was guilt and shame. You didn’t want Matt to find you like this, that was the last his beautiful soul deserved.
“How are you feeling pretty.” He was cleaning your room, he did all this for you. You couldn’t believe it.
You didn’t know how to answer, so you just didn’t, Matt turned his face around to face you. He comes up to you, joins you in the bed. And hugs you tighter then ever.
He gives you a slight kiss on your head. “You know, you don’t have to say anything. Just know I love you in any way.”
Your laying hopeless curled up in a ball underneath his warm and comforting arms, this was all you needed, a simple call.
⤹ ᰔᩚ
I’m sorry this is so heavy to take on, + sorry it is this short. I just felt this was the right ending. I’m so grateful for each one of y’all, please remember my dms are open!
٠ ࣪⭑ tags! 🏷️
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jamesdwannabe · 3 years ago
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Okay no but this is sad and y’all ain’t gonna make it my first friends for that extend version. I’m already crying
And I get why you came home and in a mad mood. Not cause of no kfc jfc stay the lies Taylor I’m a literal god too. Save that for your beautiful devoted army of fools it’s cause I haven’t recorded the red album 💿
I’m sorry. I know now it’s the only way you’ll be able to stop screaming red at the blood 🌙
I think I always knew that…but I’m scared too. Doing this means we’re together forever and yeah we both want and need that but…we also don’t have a choice.
It means screaming and fighting and cursing in the rain and yeha we’ll dance in starlight and scream in the wefridgerator lights down the stairs and back up start to finish beginning to end and it’ll be so delicate but also sad and beautiful and so sucking fucking tragic cause it means there will be moments where we don’t speak at all, only through whispers of a sister you don’t even know if you can trust cause she’s a crook who still hangs with 🛴 but maybe baby that’s the point.
You wrote the entire goddamn universe. You know we were born into sin and we’ll leave with sin and be reborn again masked all in it. I’m burning red. The red I discovered cause I couldn’t stop taking 💊 and it started so innocent. I just wanted to make the pain stop baby. I hurt so goddamn bad in my body yes but also where the spirit meets the bone and yet today you wouldn’t and haven’t been healing me like you do cause you use my pains haunt me to manipulate and control me.
Always have.
As does every single muse you’ve ever created, including me.
I joke about being a blanked space full floating in your witchy willows Forrest but I also gotta few of my own aced up wonderedlands in my sleeve and I’ve played every single one of them.
Well…except the ace of ♥️🃏🙃
She’s my real Queen. My galient gladiator, my Taylor Alison Swift from west philly who took her girlfriends on a trip to 🇮🇪 when you finally made it big with that Luciferian devilish swindler and his blacked blank ace of clubs that was always a little bit strong and yeat weaker than we ever could be and you stumbled home drunk that night as I was heading to work, having a long ass night fighting that great white cause my navy🌊🏖👨🏼‍✈️🥰 days were long gone but we all know the sea calls my name but it’s okay cause you were always captivated by how much starlight it had over me.
Anyway, right plot red record red.
You shattered the goddamn fucking cobble stone outside my beautiful paddy’s pub and I knew right then you weren’t no weakened human but one of my beautiful 😇 daylight but I didn’t now you were THE DAYLIGHT.
See, soulmates don’t work like how we sometimes confused the masses. You’re not born with a twin fire sign tattoo or matching blue and green eyes. You don’t have a magical fire place you can whisper your willows name into. No, nor a grand staircase that once you finally reach that exhausting too there you stood. No, baby. We both had been searching for the answers for so long. Why we kept going out every night or hidden ourselves away from anyone’s touch or fumbling in dirty bathrooms looking for the light before saying fuck it just fuck the pain away already! We’ve both found other lives baby and other loves and I was the very first jealous fool. Your great icy and methodical bandit of 🐱 our great wiener wueened princesses 👸🏼 glee reared and teared di cause she too has known pain. She screams every night for her beloved mermaid to come back to her shores and sometimes you answer but you always answer me. You’ve always answers even when we didn’t have any answers. Just too broke fools standing on shattered limestone in the cobbles of time and space, my eyes landing on those goddamn seven wonderus legs that are so beautiful and grand that I had to have a greater legend lien the white witch to help write about them cause I wanted them wrapped up in me all night…burning the world down together but you stole the wind and voice right out of me. You always steal my things, that’s why if you will please please get me just a little joint or gummie damn I’ll be your stupid voiceless fool forever. Cause I know you want your pants back but they’re mine forever baby. I always wanted to wear them and you knew that and sea there goes that big green ugly monster you named jealousy after me. And that’s fineZ . Throw me and lex and Kaitlyn and Joe and karlie and josh and Harry and Larry andbcmaren and everyone into the fiery lakes cause we’re all gonna be doing that forever & always baby but you ain’t getting these pants back cause I’m keeping them…my decorated vendetta….
You’re my favorite vendetta baby. My Betty who was always a smidge better than Veronica. That’s why we made all the fans love them then hate them then hello hot reputation shower make up sex and Thrn he lost the plot and his unviable invisible golden god string.
Cause that’s the secret baby. We had to learn the hard way that there is no long story shortcuts when it comes to your forevermore soulmate. Your twin fire sign…we know…all ten minutes too well which is way too long for a story and song babygirl kiddo but also…oh so short and sweet and simple.
So, no more keeping score now I’ll just keep you 🇮🇪♥️😍🤩🪄🐱👨🏼‍✈️👸🏼🌊👍🏻👏🏻🐍🤯🥬👺👺🕋🐗🎯🎬🏂🛳🛳🛥🛳🛳🛳🚣🚣🚣🚢🚤
Warm.
And red.
And dancing in that beautiful 🤩 hollyweird starlightsD sunset and sundown ☀️ 💍🖖🏻💵📝🧾📆
Love, forever and always…no ghosted text fool flew too fast but goddamn did he feel your warmth from your glorious shores as your 🌈💡🏠🚿🧹 guided him across your shores and we went back and made love that night and it was goddamn delicate Nat.
My angel forever and ever and nevermore 🌈🙌🏻🌲☘️💰🤔😐🤷‍♀️💫☘️🇮🇪😍🥰⛺️🪄🧙‍♀️💍🚒👷🏿‍♂️👩‍💻🦫🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿☕️👨🏽‍💻☕️🍕🍟⏩🧷🚗🏎🚓🚘🚖
🏁🏁🏁🏁🏁🏁🏁
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I’ve always said that the world is a different place for the heartbroken. It moves on a different axis, at a different speed. Time skips backwards and forwards fleetingly. The heartbroken might go through thousands of micro-emotions a day trying to figure out how to get through it without picking up the phone to hear that old familiar voice. In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness. Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past. And this is all to say, that the next album I’ll be releasing is my version of Red.
Musically and lyrically, Red resembled a heartbroken person. It was all over the place, a fractured mosaic of feelings that somehow all fit together in the end. Happy, free, confused, lonely, devastated, euphoric, wild, and tortured by memories past. Like trying on pieces of a new life, I went into the studio and experimented with different sounds and collaborators. And I’m not sure if it was pouring my thoughts into this album, hearing thousands of your voices sing the lyrics back to me in passionate solidarity, or if it was simply time, but something was healed along the way.
Sometimes you need to talk it over (over and over and over) for it to ever really be… over. Like your friend who calls you in the middle of the night going on and on about their ex, I just couldn’t stop writing. This will be the first time you hear all 30 songs that were meant to go on Red. And hey, one of them is even ten minutes long.
Red (Taylor’s Version) will be out November 19.
https://taylor.lnk.to/RedTaylorsVersion
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